TTC Cycle 1

Hello there ladies!

Before I begin, let me inform you that this post (and probably the succeeding TTC Cycle posts as well) will be a little TMI :) I just want to share/write down all information as I can in case we do get successful this cycle, I (and whoever on TTC reading/following this blog) can always go back and see the facts which led to the success {crossing fingers}!

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So it's been a month since I went under the knife or should I say a laparoscope, and I'm happy to inform all of you that I'm back to my normal routine. Actually, a week and a half after my surgery I already felt fine and back to my normal self. I can do things that I normally do without pain whatsoever and I really thank God  and my hubby for watching over me.

Anyhoo, we are on our first attempt to TTC (which means Trying To Conceive for those who are unfamiliar with the jargon) post-op so we are both excited. I was actually a little bit worried about any side effects of my surgery. I was thinking that it might affect my period and cause unusual pain. I was impatiently waiting for my period to come and when it finally did, I was ecstatic, despite my usual dysmenorrhea.

I had my "aunt flow" or AF as they would call it from March 12 up to the 16th which was within my usual 5-day cycle. I am technically on cycle day 12 today and if my ovulation calendar app I have on my phone is correct, I should be ovulating any time today. Now I know I wouldn't get pregnant if we didn't do THE deed (hehe) and so far we've done it twice {cycle day 8 and 10}. We definitely have to "baby dance" or BD later on tonight to make sure we have it covered. We try to do it every other instead of every day to make sure my DH has enough "reserves" (lol!)

Okay I know it's starting to sound like it's becoming a "job" for us but to be honest, with my shifting work schedule, we really have to plan it and then enjoy it while it's happening. There's nothing wrong with that IMHO. It's a matter of making it exciting and something to look forward to rather than a task that you both need to do. Of course it doesn't mean that we don't have those out-of-the-blue "booty call" but it doesn't hurt to have it planned when I am most fertile. It all comes down to having an open communication with your partner, do whatever works for you and don't get caught up within the "rules".

So that's it for this post. I will update you of the progress soon!

Thank you all for reading and baby dust to all TTC!

My First Surgery Experience

Hi everyone! Hope you're all doing well.

It's been 3 days since I "checked out" from the hospital and I want to share with you my experience. I'd have to warn you though that this could be lengthy and graphic so beware ;)

So like I mentioned in my previous post, I was instructed to take a laxative the night before to "release" everything in preparation for the surgery. I was supposed to mix the 45ml of laxative to 800ml of water so I started drinking it at around 7 in the evening. Hours had passed and nothing was coming out. I was tossing and turning in bed the whole night anxious about the surgery and what the effect would be if I didn't pass motion but morning came and still... nothing.

22  Feb, 7:15AM

As instructed, I went straight to the Day Surgery Centre of NUH. First order of business of course is finalizing who/how the bill be settled. After that, my husband and I were lead into this "prepping room". 

There were huge comfy chairs divided with curtains. After a few SOP, the nurse gave me instructions to change into my very glamorous hospital gown and wrapped my armswag on me. She then said that my surgery would be around 10AM and asked me to wait for the nurse to fetch me with the wheelchair.

As we were waiting, I tried to distract myself and not think of what's about to happen. I kept joking with my husband and kept fiddling with my phone but as the time gets nearer and nearer, my heart kept beating faster and faster. The room, which was initially full of patients, was slowly becoming empty. Nurses with wheel chair and/or operating bed were coming in and out and picking them up one by one. I know my turn will be coming soon. Tears fell involuntarily. I WAS SCARED. Luckily my husband was with me to comfort me and make me laugh. 

 9:45AM

And then, there he was. I saw a guy nurse pushing a wheelchair heading towards where we were seated. I knew that one was for me. After confirming that he was taking the correct patient, he assisted me onto the wheel chair and asked my husband to follow him as he pushed me on our way to the next building. 

That wheelchair ride was unforgettable.

I couldn't look straight ahead. I couldn't dare look at those cold, shiny, silver hospital beds or see people in pain. My head was bowed down and my hands  were clinched together all throughout. I was praying. I was asking Him for strength and courage to overcome this. 

We then slowed down as we reach the visitor's lounge and the nurse explained to my husband where he could wait for me. He gave him a code so my husband can monitor on the LCD screen where my location is and took his phone number so they could call him once I'm ready to come out.

Just few steps away from the visitor's lounge was the Operating Theatre. I was lead to the reception area and was asked to wait. A nurse came and strapped something on my right foot which I believe is something like a tracking device. This would help my husband in tracking my location within the hospital. Two Filipino doctors approached me and asked if I was already informed by my doctor about the study that they are currently conducting. I said yes but it was not thoroughly explained to me and I haven't agreed to do it yet so she then proceeded on explaining.

In a standard ovarian cystectomy, they would either use diathermy (burning) or suturing (stitching) to stop the bleeding after removing the cyst however, according to them, these damages the ovarian follicles and hence damages the ovarian reserve (or the eggs in short). What they wanted to do now is to use Surgiflo on me and be part of the study proving that it is effective and a much safer way to stop bleeding in a surgery like mine. Surgiflo, in a sense, is like a clear plaster or band aid that they will apply topically on the ovarian tissue to stop the bleeding and it will melt away after about a week or so. 

Although I know that there will be risks involved, I decided to go ahead and agree to be part of it for the sake of my eggs (lol!). The doctors assured me that in case Surgiflo fails, they will do suturing instead. I felt like I was in good hands so I gave them my consent. 

Shortly after, the anesthesiologist came and asked me SOP questions. He explained to me what will happen inside and that I might experience sore throat after from the breathing tube that they will putting inside my mouth. He then told me to wait for the nurse to pick me up and bring me to the operating room then he left. Tears started flowing again and this time, my husband was not by my side to comfort me. At that point, I just wanted to be be under the anesthesia already so I could sleep and be worry-free.

After a few minutes, a nurse came and led me to the operating room. THIS IS THE MOMENT OF TRUTH. I wanted to back out but I know it's too late so I sucked it up and just followed instructions. They asked me to lie down and when I did, they did not waste a fraction of a second. In an instant, there were four medical staffs around me. On my left was the anesthesiologist inserting the IV on my hand and on my right, one is taking my BP and another was hooking me up to the machine to monitor my vital signs. Another staff strapping something on my legs for blood circulation and then strapped me on the bed after that. I looked all around the big white room and there were no less than 10 people inside.

As I stare at the big white lights above me (which I thought I would only see in the movies), I felt the anesthesia taking its effect slowly. They put a mask on me and asked me to try to open my eyes as long as I can. I felt my body becoming heavier and heavier. It seems like I was slowly sinking in the operating bed. In less than a minute, I was knocked out.

Next thing I know, somebody was tapping me very hard on my right shoulder saying "Melanie, we're done! We're done!" Then I felt very cold and started shivering so they put two blankets on me. As they pushed me out through the door, I saw a hazy vision of my husband which gave me a sense of comfort in a way. After I was settled in my ward, first thing I remember is my husband kissing me on my forehead. I was thankful that it was over and that I was safe.

It was a 3-hour long wait according to my husband and when we reach the ward, visiting hours {12nn-2pm} was almost over so he had to leave me once again and wait somewhere outside until he's allowed to come back at 5pm. I thought I could take advantage of that time and continue sleeping but with the nurses regularly taking my blood pressure and body temperature, I couldn't get a decent hour of sleep without being interrupted. In one of the nurse's rounds, she came in and saw her draining something from the side of my bed then she uttered "you pee a lot". I was like "huh?" she repeated it again and I was shocked to learn that I have a catheter on. It was only then that I realized that have a tube inserted down there and it was not the most comfortable feeling.

Finally my husband came back to see me at exactly 5 o'clock and at this point I was really, really hungry. I have been asking all the nurses who came in and checked up on me when can I eat and drink and they said they are still waiting for doctor's orders. By 7pm, a tray of food was finally delivered to my room and I was smiling from ear to ear. Not the best dinner I've had but it was satisfying enough for my growling stomach.

23 Feb, 8AM

My OB, Dr. Anupriya, came down and checked up on me. She looked at my wounds and told me that the surgery went well. They were able to take out the cyst successfully and she said there were actually 2 cysts joined together and it was full of hair when they opened it up {I know! Eeeew!}.

Upper left: the cyst they removed

Lower right: the foam-like substance is the Surgiflo

I was relieved to know that Surgiflo worked out fine and that I can go home that same day. She put me on hospital leave until the 2nd of March and I am scheduled to see her for a follow-up check up on the 4th of March.

As of this writing, I can still feel a bit of pain on my abdomen area as they made four incisions (1 on my belly button, 2 at side and 1 below the belly button). I experienced a bit of bleeding until yesterday so I had to wear a pad. The doctor said that is normal as long as I don't secrete a lot of blood to the point that I have to change my pad every hour. I stopped taking the pain reliever as I don't want to be too dependent on it and I try to move around to keep a healthy blood circulation.

I am ecstatic that this whole ordeal is over and I am ready to face the next chapter of our lives and I'm hoping it's going to be positive all the way :) 

To all those who prayed for me and wished me well either on facebook, instagram, or via text message, THANK YOU!

To those who visited me, THANK YOU so much for taking your time to see me. It meant a lot to me.

And to those of you reading this entry, THANK YOU for your patience ;)


Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.
- Jeremiah 17:14

PS.

The hospital bill amounted to a whopping $4,504.64. This will be settled by my employer, whether fully or partially, that I will have to find out on a later date.

Counting Down...

Hi there beautiful ladies!

It's been a month since my last post and as promised, I will update you before my BIG day.

Yes, I am finally undergoing surgery in less than 15 hours (give or take). I got a call today from the hospital and gave me further instructions about my fasting tonight and told me that I have to be at the hospital by 7:15 in the morning tomorrow. I don't know exactly what time will the surgery start but I'm assuming it's somewhere between 8 to 9am. 

I'm lying down on my bed as I am typing this while munching on a cookie. In about an hour, I'm supposed to take this laxative (Fleet Phospho-Soda) for bowel cleansing and I'm not looking forward to that. I'm pretty sure that the toilet bowl will be my BFF tonight. After 12 midnight, I am no longer allowed to eat anything, not even water, until tomorrow morning so I'm a bit concerned about that. 

But nothing concerns me more than the actual surgery tomorrow. I am terrified. It's my first time to do something like this and the feeling of uncertainty is what worries me the most. This could be considered as a minor surgery but this is something MAJOR for me. It's driving me crazy thinking of things that could go wrong during the procedure. Yes, I AM PARANOID. 

On the other hand though, I have been looking forward to this day that finally I will have that alien-looking thing inside of me removed. I wonder if I could ask the doctor for a copy of the video? Do you think that's possible? Well I guess I'll find out tomorrow. 

So that's it for now guys. I would have to get back to you a few days after my surgery and maybe post some photos. 

Again, I am asking for your prayers for a safe surgery and quick recovery. Thank you so much for joining me in this journey.

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain!" - Dolly Parton

 

It's a Date!

Hello there ladies and gorgeous mommas!

I'm here to update you guys what's up with me :) Today, we paid another visit to NUH to see my doctor, Dr. Anu, and set the date of my surgery. I was scheduled to see her at 1:30PM and we came in on time but we only got to see her around 4-ish. That was a gruesome 2 and a half hour wait! When the nurse finally called my name, it was like hearing the angels in heaven singing! Lol!

Anyhoo, we first agreed on the date of my surgery which will be on the 22nd of February. She then discussed how my laparoscopic surgery will be done. She also informed me of some possible risks and complications during (like excessive bleeding) and after (ie. scar tissue formation) the surgery. After going through several medical terminologies, she then asked me to sign the consent form and was asked to wait outside  for further instructions from the nurse.

Luckily the wait time was shorter this time, probably because it's time to collect payment. The cashier called my name and asked me to pay for the following: 

Consultation Fee........................................$80.25

Full Blood Count.......................................$23.54

Medication (Fleet).......................................$3.07

Total.........................................................$106.86

I honestly do not know what the blood test is for. My doctor did not mention anything about that but since we just want to get it done and over with, I just paid and waited for my name to be called again for the blood test.

After the nurse drew one tube of my blood, we were asked to wait again and this time, to discuss the big moolah involved for the surgery. Another nurse called us in and went inside the room labeled "Financial Counselling". Here she showed us the options categorized per ward services and facilities. I opted for the cheapest one which is a whopping $3,722. Yes, that's three thousand seven hundred and twenty two dollars! I was in a way relieved because I was expecting around $4K - $5K like what the nurse told me the last time I inquired. Funny thing about my insurance is, according to our HR, there is a possibility that not the entire bill will be covered since there is a limit per category (room, doctor's fee, medication, etc.) so just to play it safe, I chose the cheapest one. 

So, it's a date. February 22nd. 

I'm not gonna lie, I am frightened and scared but at the same time excited to go through with the surgery. I am hoping and praying that after this so-called ordeal, we could finally have our own little bundle of joy. I know, I know. I shouldn't be thinking this way. Having this mindset would break me again if in case it still doesn't happen. But I am tired of hoping and I believe that if you focus your mind that IT IS GONNA HAPPEN then IT WILL HAPPEN.

I ask for your prayers for a safe surgery and quick recovery. I shall update you again before my big day!

Thank you ladies for reading and baby dust to all who are also trying!

Ciao bellas!

Life Changing Moment

Hi ladies! I'm back!

First of all let me just wish everyone happy holidays! I hope you had a great Christmas celebration and wish you all have a prosperous new year ahead!

Ok as promised, I'm here to share with you the series of lab tests that my husband and I went through for our baby-making journey. A few days after I first met with my doctor, I received the result of my pap smear via mail and thank God it was normal. However, she stated that I have a mild infection and prescribed a medication called Flagystatin for me to insert down there. At first I was like "what the hell is that?" so I googled and found out that it's a common kind of infection on women so I stopped worrying. I brought the prescription with me to Watsons and handed it over to a male pharmacist {yah, talk about feeling awkward}. I waited anxiously as he read my prescription and when he handed me the box he asked "do you know how to use it?"... I didn't know how to respond and stuttered for a while but I managed to say a very awkward "no" and so he went on and explained it to me.

The capsule has a butter-like consistency that you insert down there for 10 consecutive nights. It is important that you don't skip a day as you need to restart from day 1 if you do so. Once it's in, it is best to stay lying down that is why I did it before we went to sleep. Let me just say it's not the most comfortable feeling in the world.

My next visit to the hospital was on my Day 3 of my next menstrual cycle {21 Nov 2012}. I was instructed by Dr. Anu to come down again to do a blood test during my day 2 or 3 and that's what I did. So I basically went in and the nurse drew 3 tubes of my blood and paid for  the following:

Full Blood Count............................$23.54

Amenorrhoea................................$107.00

Anti-Mullerian Hormone................$34.24

Rubella IgG.....................................$28.89

Total..............................................$193.67

On the other hand, my husband was scheduled for a semen analysis. He actually opted to do the "collection" at home since we were informed that we have a 2-hour time frame before his little soldiers die... lol! So we went in and paid.

Conventional Semen Analysis...............$64.20

Grand Total for the day....................$257.87

December 3, 2012. 

That day was definitely an emotional day for me. It was time for us to find out whether the cyst is still there. I was terrified and shaking inside to be back in the hospital because I know that there will be alien-looking gadgets going inside of me again. 

First order of business was to do the gynae scan. Though I was scared to find out whether the cyst was gone or not, my first question to the sonographer was "is it still there?" , she played it safe at first and asked me what my doctor told me and I told her I know that I have a cyst on my left ovary. She then confirmed it and said "yes, it's still there." 

Tears started rolling down my cheeks in an instant! All I wanted to do that time was run out of the room and be in my husband's arms. I know this sounds so cheesy and dramatic but that was really what I felt. She continued scanning and taking screen captures and handed this report to Dr. Anu.

We then went to see Dr. Anu and discussed the result. She told me that the kind of cyst I have is called a dermoid cyst which according to Wikipedia is a cystic teratoma that contains developmentally mature skin complete with hair follicles and sweat glands, sometimes clumps of long hair, and often pockets of sebum, blood, fat, bone, nails, teeth, eyes, cartilage, and thyroid tissue. She basically told me the same thing but at that time I wasn't really listening and when I went home and googled, I was shocked and disgusted with the photos I saw. I couldn't believe I have that thing inside of me right now. 

Dr. Anu recommended to have it removed via laparoscopic surgery while the size is still relatively small. I asked how much it would be and it ranges between $4k -  $5K. Whoa! That made my jaw drop. Since my husband and I are scheduled to go back to the Philippines next month, we told her that I will have it done there instead. Recently though, I found out that I have an insurance coverage from where I work so I will be undergoing the surgery here in Singapore instead by February.

She then proceeded on explaining the lab test results from our recent visit. It was good to hear that everything is perfectly fine. Both of us have good and healthy eggs, thank God! She encouraged us to continue trying and prescribed me folic acid and vitamins C and E for my husband for us to take daily for the next three months.

We stepped out from her office and proceeded to the cashier and paid the following:

Consultation Service...................................$80.25

Gynae Scan.................................................$90.95

Folic Acid.....................................................$5.75

Vitamin C....................................................$45.90

Vitamin E....................................................$25.80

Grand Total.............................................$248.65

That day was definitely a life changing moment for me. In a way I regretted not seeing the doctor earlier but I know it was too late for that. Though I am scared as hell to go through the surgery, I am excited to take this thing out of me and start with our baby-making journey! I know God will be with me in every step of the way.

Baby dust to all who are trying like us and I wish you all a Happy New Year ahead!

Thank you all for reading this lengthy post!

The Doctor Is In

Hello mommies and mommy-wannabes!

If you read my very first post on this blog, I mentioned that I will be sharing with you the details of my very first doctor's appointment.

To be honest, one reason why I kept delaying to see the doctor because I really don't know who and where to go. Now I realize how hard it is to be away from your family as I don't have my mom or my elder sister to ask for advice. I ended up asking a friend/ex-schoolmate Bing who lives here in Singapore and recently gave birth and she recommended me to Dr. Anupriya of National University Hospital. The day the "red witch" came after our Sydney trip, I immediately conquered my fear to make that call and set an appointment.

October 22, 2012. That was my first time to see an OB-Gyn in my 31 years of existence. Needless to say, I was nervous as hell! Heart pounding. Knees shaking. Cold and sweaty hands and feet. Yes, that's how scared I was. The uber cold, full-blast air-conditioning of the hospital made it a whole lot worst! As soon as we entered the Women's Clinic, I gave the nurse my ID card and registered. I waited in vain for my name to be called, and when they did, I thought I would pass out.

Image Credit to http://texas.811magazines.com

My DH came with me inside the doctor's clinic. Dr. Anu was friendly and I immediately felt comfortable with her. She started asking the standard and personal questions for my husband and I's profile and quickly went through a female reproductive anatomy. After the small chit-chat, she asked me to lie down on the bed behind the curtain and once I heard that, my heart skipped a beat! I wanted to run out of the room but I know I need to get this done and over with so I went ahead and lied down. I warned her and the nurse that I was on my 5th day of the red witch's visit but they said it was fine. That was an awkward moment for me.

With my hands on my face and my eyes slightly peeking through the spaces between my fingers, I watched the doctor as she put this strange-looking gadget inside me and swabbed me using a very long cotton bud. I thought that was it, I was done! Then she uttered "I need to do a gynae scan" and I said "ok" without knowing that involves another strange-looking and looong thingamajig. That was not fun at all especially when she uttered this next phrase -- "there is a small cyst on your left ovary, let's see if this will go away". 

My mind went blank.

We then walked back to her table and gave me a list of lab tests that I will be doing for my coming menstrual cycle.  I passively took it and agreed. My mind is not functioning. I can't think of anything to ask her. She also didn't act as if it's something to be too concerned about so I took the piece of paper and walked off. We went back to the waiting area and nervously waited for the cashier to call my name to give us the low-down on how much the damage was. 

This was the breakdown:

Consultaion Fee..........................$101.65

Liquid Based Pap Smear...............$40.66

Chlamydia Trachomatics..............$69.55

Simple Gynae Scan.......................$90.95

Grand total...................................$302.81

Phew! I wonder how much this would cost if I did it in the Philippines. Anyway, I am sharing this information for those who wants to have an idea how much it would cost to see a doctor for an initial appointment. Prior to our visit, I have been researching high and low on how much the cost would be but didn't find any source. Though I know it differs from one person to another (and doctors as well) as we have different cases but at least with this information, you have a rough gauge on how much you are expected to spend.

If there are gynaes out there reading this post or even those who have the scientific knowledge about what I am going through, I would appreciate your suggestions and recommendations.

For my next post, I will be tackling about my first lab test and hubby's andrology appointment. 

Thank you all for reading! I hope this post have been helpful.

Baby dust to all!

Ciao!

The Birth of This Blog

Hi everyone!

So I created this blog for me to have an outlet to express my feelings and emotions towards our journey to parenthood. This would also help me keep my sanity in check as I have so many things running through my mind in the  past few days.

Anyway, a brief background first -- my dear hubby (or DH in short) and I got married last year - Sept 10, 2011, here in Singapore at the age of 30. Since we have been together for 6 years at that time, we know that we are ready to take the next big step and that is to become mommy and daddy. Right after our wedding, we started trying to make our own little bundle of joy, naive of what it actually takes to have one.

Let me just say we took the "honeymoon-ing" part seriously. We traveled so much this year, from Europe to Korea to the land-down-under Australia, just to have that time off and get away from the busy and hectic life of Singapore and just catch a fresh breath of air. A lot of people would say to me that I have to relax and not stress myself out about it but IT IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE. Though we were not bummed about it for the first few months of trying, after about 8 months or so, I started "questioning" myself and freaking out. I was afraid that there might be something wrong with me but on the other hand, I was dreading to see a doctor! I couldn't bare hearing that I wouldn't be able to conceive so we decided to wait it out until we reach our 1st year anniversary.

I was obsessed on joining TCC (trying to conceive) forums and reading on the success stories of other women who struggled to have their first born. Tried to exercise and diet but both were a failure, lol! After numerous mobile apps, ovulation prediction kits (OPK) , and home pregnancy tests (HPT), we were still unsuccessful.

So we flew to Sydney to celebrate our anniversary and lucky enough that it fell on the dates when I was most "fertile". Needless to say, we baby-danced all the way but still no luck. That is when I finally decided that we HAVE to see a doctor. 

I will be sharing more on that in details in my next post. I hope you continue to join us on this journey as we encounter life's ups and downs. I strongly believe that there is a perfect timing for everything and God has greater plan for us.

If you are on the same page as we are, please leave a comment and share your experience as well. Would love to hear from all of you!

Baby dust to all!

Ciao!